I had the unique and beautiful privilege of taking photographs at the graveside service and memorial of Dan's second cousin,
Connor, who passed away on October 10th. He had
Hunter Syndrome and was not expected to live past his early teenage years. He was 15. Connor was the youngest child of Jerry and Geraldine and had one brother and two sisters. I spent a Sunday afternoon with them last fall, taking
family photos on Stephen Avenue - downtown in Calgary. I must admit that I was a little nervous taking pictures of a family I didn't know all that well, who also had a disabled child. However, it was very quickly evident how much each one of them loved Connor and the strength of the bonds between ALL of them was so tangible! They made me feel comfortable right away! In the end, the photo shoot went very well and I came away from the experience having so much appreciation for this family and their depth, faith, optimism, love and warmth. Those words are hardly enough to describe them, to be honest!
When Connor's health continued to decline and the end finally came on October 10th, a family friend of Jerry and Geraldine's phoned me, knowing I had taken their family pictures a year ago, and asked if I would be present at the events of Connor's Celebration of Life on October 13th, to capture the little moments. It may seem strange to have a photographer at an event such as this, but death is certainly a part of life, and the beauty of the family and loved ones left behind are worth capturing "on film". I was honored to have been asked to perform the task. Although I had to rearrange some schedules and rely on some help from others, I made it to Eden Brook Cemetery, where Connor was to be buried, and began shooting. I tried to stay as discreet as possible, capturing close-ups of expressions, hugs, and hands clasped and also background pictures of the large group of extended family that had come to say good-bye to Connor and the pastor who spoke words of comfort to the crowd...There were moments when my own tears clouded the view-finder and I was shooting "blind". It was such a lovely tribute to a boy who was unique and precious and happy and special and it was difficult not to be carried away by emotion. However, God's peace and comfort reigned and it was so evident, even in the pictures, how a family, like this, with faith in Jesus ultimately has HOPE.
With permission from Geraldine, I will share some of the photos I took that day:
Near the end of the graveside service, each person present was asked to take a Sharpie marker and write a special message to Connor, on the lid of the unfinished pine casket he lay in. Each person took his or her turn to write memories or a poem or special Scripture verse. At this point, Geraldine specifically came to give me a hug and thanked me for being there (I will never forget the attention she gave me even as she mourned that day), then asked for a few specific shots - close-ups of each person's note so she could later look back on what people had written to her son.
She also asked me to take a shot of this knot of wood on the side of Connor's casket. She told me how she first noticed the sun shining through the window of the funeral vehicle directly onto this "imperfection" and how much it gave her comfort, relating it to the fact that even though Connor was "imperfect", there were some beautiful character traits, like this knot, that made him the unique and special person that he was. How appropriate to have a casket like this one, then!
Near the end of the service, Geraldine snuck away to this ridge overlooking the green of a nearby golf course to pray and reflect. I didn't want to disturb her moment with God, but the evidence of her faith spoke to me, and I knew it was photo-worthy. So, I zoomed in to capture that peaceful moment...
...what a beautiful, but heart-wrenching sight of two grieving parents comforting each other; clinging together rather than suffering apart.
Later in the day, after a family meal, the general public was invited to a celebration at Emmanuel Christian Reformed Church in Calgary, Connor's home church. The place was PACKED. Standing room only. Again, it was so evident that Connor and his family made an impact on those around them, and the service was full of music and celebration and praise for the life of Connor:
The color orange was special to Connor and his family, so each person was asked to wear an item of orange to the service in honor of Connor. Another specific photo request was for me to capture a shot of the congregation, in their array of orange, to remind Jerry and Geraldine how much people love them and support them! The immense number of people and the rainbow of orange is overwhelming to me. I love this photo!
At the front of the front of the church, before the service, there was a small display of some of Connor's favorite things - many of them were orange! - but then as the family filed in, each person carried in more items that were special to Connor and the collection soon filled the entire stage! A visual reminder that Connor had likes and preferences; he was a typical boy and loved trucks, he favored Veggie Tales movies and loved eating cheese right from the block! Many people streamed to the front of the sanctuary after the service, to take a closer look at all of these special things. These children were so cute - almost reverently taking it all in!
I may not strike you as an overly emotional person, but the beautiful music, the slideshow of photos from Connor's childhood, and the overwhelming crowd of people who had come to celebrate God's faithfulness to this family moved me to tears, almost sobs. Near the end of the evening, when my picture-taking task was through, I just wanted to go home, hug my own sweet boys and thank God, on my knees, for all He continually blesses me with.
It was humbling and a real honor to be able to provide Jerry and Geraldine with these photos. I am thankful to them for including me in the private act of grieving and saying good-bye. My prayer is that with each photo they look back on, peace and comfort pour in from Heaven. When moments are captured on a photo, such as the ones I've shared, emotions are recaptured, senses become real again, the memory lives on. Connor lives on. He will NEVER be forgotten.
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